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RIP little brother

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  • RIP little brother

    Going to post this on both sites so for those of you checking in on both bear with me, I’ll try cut and pasting to save some typing.

    About eight weeks ago my younger brother was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 43. I’ve mentioned him before, he came to live with us at two months old and was adopted by my folks around age two. He was mentally handicapped probably due to fetal alcohol syndrome and had been living in a fantastic group home the past five or so years. He was a picky eater by nature and with Covid concerns the house hadn’t been doing day trips or ordering take out much so they’d been cooking in mostly and didn’t realize that something was up when hadn’t been eating much. They figured he just didn’t like what they were having as he’d have some coffee and maybe a bowl of cereal instead of dinner. He hadn’t been complaining but when he dropped 20 lbs over the summer they realized something was up and got him to the doctor. Up until then my folks hadn’t been able to visit.

    Dad went to be there when they did the colonoscopy knowing that his biological father and uncle both died of colon cancer in their late 40’s. Scope showed he was full of it. They did surgery within a week, he should have been out in five days but stayed for 31. Couldn’t eat. Once he finally did start they sent him home and started both chemo and radiation treatments shortly after. They were confident they’d gotten all of from his intestine but tests showed cancer still in his system somewhere. It wasn’t going well, he was down from a solid 165 lbs to a shell of himself at 116. They held off his last Chemo treatment and he was finally able to keep something down last week. He was beginning to have some other side effects as well. This morning when the house manager went to get him up he was unresponsive, they started CPR but he’d gone in his sleep.

    For the tough hand life dealt him he had a good heart. He always referred to me as “Big Brother”. I didn’t get a chance to see him since last Christmas, I’d talked with my Dad about going along with him sometime soon to visit but life has been getting in the way lately and mom would have had to stay home. Not feeling guilty, just disappointed I didn’t get there and feeling bad for my folks who are taking this hard. Seeing him would have meant a lot to he and my parents both. It wasn’t looking good but we figured he’d have some time left.

    Rest easy Bro, you deserve it.

  • #2
    Rest easy, for sure.

    I can't tell you that this doesn't make me sad, but I am so glad you shared.

    "Big Brother" is such a special title, and it should make you proud to have been that to him. Be honored by the memories.

    Take care of your parents. It's a little harder for adoptive parents, despite all the blessings they receive.

    Prayers said for all your family.


    • #3
      I don't have any special words. I am sorry for your family's loss. We grieve not for them, because where they go we pray and dream of going also. We grieve for ourselves for that piece of joy in our lives taken from us. Our only remedy, time, which will plug the hole in our hearts with the best memories.


      • #4
        Fitch, I too have no magic words, only my feelings of sorrow for you and your family ! I am glad you posted here because with the spam on F&S it is not being posted. Knowing you only thru your words and thoughts in your postings, I have come to know you as a good person, one who I am now attempting to offer my condolences to in a very poor median......!


        • #5
          Thanks guys. I was hesitant to post but he had such a simple life there wasn’t much of a way I could think to honor him. This will have to do, such as it is.


          • #6
            Fitch, you indeed honor your brother to have posted here about his passing. I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it leaves a hollow spot in your heart. PigHuntress and I have lost a son and it is one of the worst things to ever experience and something you never completely recover from. But eventually it does get better and you eventually come to terms with it even though. Best wishes for your parents and I hope they can work through this grief as well as can be expected in their own time and way.




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